December 6, 2004
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The Stone Cold Center of 'Normal'
Hello, my name is Faith, and I am a hypocrite. My (current) claim to the title results from my habitual sense that I'm the stone cold center of 'normal,' and everyone around me is just a trifle off. You know how that is? This friend of yours is a little harsh on her kids; that colleague has a tendency to over-emphasize the positive in lieu of complete honesty; that buddy of your spouse's drives way too fast on the two-lane; and speaking of your spouse, isn't it irritating how you always have to clean up the joint late-night snack?
I know I have my own quirks, idiosyncrasies and failings, but when it comes down to specifying them I often find myself with an absurdly short list, and some strong caveats. Like: okay, I don't cook, but I could make a damn fine loaf of homemade bread if I ever took the time out from caring for everyone else's non-gastronomic needs. And yeah, I generally have a simple formula problem or two in my spreadsheets, but I give my colleagues plenty of time to review them, and what's it all about if it isn't about constructive teamwork, anyway?
At this point I'll drag out my too-often-cited tale of my original Peace Corps telephone interview. It all went swimmingly until I was asked to detail an incident in which I had failed to acheive a set goal. I hemmed and hawed and finally acknowledged that it appeared I'd never actually failed at anything. Later, telling this tale to my mother (with that sort of fake humility the good daughter always assumes), she hestitated not one iota of a millisecond before informing me that yes, of course I'd failed at something: I failed to finish painting the silo brick red one summer, leaving her to complete the task, and I'd also failed ..... at which point I think something incredibly important caused me to cut the conversation short.
So in sum: I know full well I'm slightly off in one way, or another, or six or seven ways; and my inability to see through my own blind spot about my off-ness doesn't obviate the obviousness of the fact that I am. But I still have a really tough time living-and-letting-live, and not sniping at the off-ness of others, in contrast to my own mis-perceived near-perfection.
Anyone out there with true humility? Let me in on your secret?
Comments (17)
The people that make the MOST angry are the ones who have the same faults I do. Subconsciously, they must remind me of me.
I don't cook, either. But I eat! It gives the cooks' lives meaning.
Hmmm...just had dinner with a bunch of brilliant professors and movie directors and I'm suffering a bout of major "what am I doing with my life" low self-esteem....
That's not the same as humility though, is it? Finding yourself not measuring up to your friends? Pretty hard for me to be critical of people whom I think have so much going for them, compared to myself.
Damn, Faith...I don't even bake bread.
The trick to remaining your humility is ensuring that everyone knows about it. Sounds contradictory, I know, but there's nothing like daily doses of humble pie from friends and family to place the "You Are Here" arrow on the Map of Misconceived Stature. With or without bread.
Another trick that spawns humility is to badly butcher the grammar of comments one leaves about Xanga. In my latest edition of Ray-To-English dictionary, "remaining = retaining".
I like my humble pie a la mode.
True humility (for me) comes from knowing that I don't measure up to ten straightforward rules, or 'commandments'. I'm not always honoring my parents. I have lied. I have stolen. I have put other things before God. I have coveted what others have. I have failed a small and simple list of ten tasks set before me, and therefore am not worthy of of spending eternity with a pure and holy Sovereign. If that isn't humbling, I don't know what is. Because when one believes that they will someday have to stand before a sinless God - knowing He cannot let the sin go unpunished - where does that leave me? Fallen short. Imperfect. Guilty, guilty, guilty. Humbled.
Thank heavens a redeemer was given. And thank heavens I've accepted the redemption offered. And thank heavens there's a lot more falling short I'm gonna do before it's all over - because it will remind me why I need a Savior. And keep my humble.
I know a lot of people don't believe that way - they think when they die, it's just over. If that's the case, then I'm not out anything. But if I'm right... if there is a judgment and there is a reckoning... I wouldn't want to be anyplace but where I am. At the side of the One who will absolve me. And I wouldn't have wanted to live any other way... humbled by my shortcomings and seeking to do better, to live rightly.
Anyone with an above average intelligence suffers from this malady of feeling as though through self-analysis one can reach a level of perfection. I think it's the friends and love ones that are the most valuable who can knock us right down to the reality with the rest. Too bad I never see my friend who could do this the best.
If you are interested in reading an excerpt from a novel and shedding some light on my shortcomings please feel free to.
"Humility is no substitute for a good personality."
-- Fran Lebowitz
Normal is so relative.
Humility? I'm not sure what that is, actually. I think to be aware of your own humility defeats it. How can you tell how humble you actually are if you don't know how important you are? And knowing how important, then how can you be humble? Isn't humility just a sense of inconsequence?
Personally, I try not to be vain or proud. I know I have significance to my life, my work and my family & friends. To attempt to think otherwise is a lie, no?
nyCe page..hehe random propz..holla bak..
OMG, you've just blown my idealistic opinion of you! LOL, no you haven't. You're terrific and that's what counts.
the dictionary says that "humility is the act of being humble". Is it really? I always looked at humility as being defaced and humble as being unpretentious and reverent. This is a great topic.
awesome topic. fits us all, I think. Some days I just look around, grumble under my breath, and wonder why people can't be smarter, saner, more reasonable, in short.... more like me. Then something happens and I fall on my face again, realizing that I am hopeless and a mess. again. still. and I can't make bread at all. (my rolls resemble hockey pucks). However I can make toast. guess that's my life. thank you for the reflection time.
Goodness, yes. Humility is something I learned a lonnnng time ago. And I consider it one of my finest traits (as non-humble as that sounds)!
You are, indeed, an extraordinary woman. But, like most, you probably have your off points. In fact, I consider it a blessing that I'm not only "off" but severely skewed in some areas. It makes life interesting. You sing your own song. You march to your own drummer. You blow your own horn. That's what makes my life a deeply enriching one. (Of course, I still take lots of time to do things for others, as well. But always on my terms. Which really are not that rigid or self-centric.)
Sorry, I can't help you; I'm also very near perfect.
Humility? Isn't that being able to laugh at yourself? I too have few faults but those that I do have seem to be so extreme that they balance out my strengths. I find that those who have many small faults are also balanced out by their many small strengths!
Thank You Lord for my sense of humor! It gets me through life!
I agree with the above comment--I am the first to laugh at myself when the situation arises(-often!-). And I too find myself most irritated with faults in others that, upon reflection, hit pretty darn close to home...
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