December 23, 2004
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Out of the Frying Pan
Every holiday season there's a moment (and depending on the state of my other
obligations, the mood of the kids, the weather and other unknowables, it comes late or early, but it always comes) when I hit the panic-depression point. I feel like I'm sitting inside the stove with my back up against the firebrick, sensing that sizzingly emotional expectation mount, and mount, and MOUNT. There's gifts to buy, work to get through, festivities and events to orchestrate and attend, the creative muse to evoke, familial ire to soothe. It's all a spend-and-smile, smile-and-spend cycle.
So I stood up against the sink the other night, hands in the cooling dishwater, blinking back I'm-more-than-overwhelmed-I'm-drowning tears. Were the stocking gifts adequate? Would the hastily-crafted treasure-hunt story bring more rage ("But his character got to solve the problem, not mine!") than enjoyment? Was I focusing too much on the kids' presents and not the adults'? Would I be able to stomach all the standard family in-fighting, borne of people born together and knowing each other all too well? Would everyone remember the fun and not the frustration? Would....? If.....? How.....?
But I'm over it now (whew -- that barrier breached, for one more year). Can't take responsibility for everyone else's happiness, like I keep telling my kids. The only power I have is power over myself. And where I am, just right at this moment, is on the outside of the firebox.
Feet up. Deep breath. Relaaaaax. Join me in a toast?
To the spirit of the season
and inner satisfaction!
Comments (18)
L'Chiam!
I wish I had these problems.
cheers! merry happy joy to your world!
Hm. I wanna get one of those fireboxes!
I hope that you can hold onto those thoughts. You can set the stage but you can't keep the players from forgetting their lines. The young version of the person may find fault in the way the story plays out but the older version will look back in amazement and fondness over what mom was able to do for me.
Enjoy the warm fires and slow moments.
A warm toast back atcha, my dear. I hope you and yours have a lovely Christmas.
Your post hit home for me. I guess we all get overwhelmed this time of year. I just keep telling myself to breathe and it seems to help.
Have a wonderful holday season Faith!
-Lorie-
*clink* I'll raise my nog to that. I hope you and yours have a safe and very merry holiday!
MUCH love to you... Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas!
MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!
Walk on...
ah; - to be simple. pagan also helps, i guess
Happy Holidays!! Glad to see you are still writing!!
Amber
I had to chuckle at "BUT...I'm over it now." So Scarlett O'Hara-ish.
I think this was the first year I didn't have the panic set in. I was kind of on a smooth course thru the whole holiday. (Parents aside)
Missed the toast but will raise my cup o'joe to you this morning before I hit the shower.
*toasts late* I hope you had a happy holiday.
me too! i missed the toast but the best wishes continue. hope you and your family are continuing to enjoy the holidays and you are continuing to have inner peace.
ps. it's kinda appropriate to have a toast because of the firebox, no? i like my toast with butter and cream cheese.
I'll join you ... what are we drinking?
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