I read this post earlier this morning and wanted to comment, but lack of time forbade doing so.  With a little time now, I’ll give you my opinion.

First of all, my experience as a young girl who thought my first period was diarrhea I didn’t know I was having, was a bit unsettling.  It was the day before my 11th birthday.  When I got home and told my mom I was having diarrhea and didn’t know it, she had me drop my pants in the living room and proclaimed me a woman.  A few days later, a book from Kotex with a rose on the front appeared.  Then a few weeks later, or so it seems in memory, the Grolier Family Life Books appeared (All Four!) and I was instructed to read that.  My mother didn’t tell me much- Once when I was seventeen she was appalled that the counselor she and my father were seeing for difficulties had suggested oral sex, she told me to,” never let a man put that in your mouth”  That was about the gist of my “education”

When my sister came of age, I got to explain the stuff in the books to her.

Another upshot of my lack of education on my mother’s part- or my father’s for that matter- was my naivete about suggestive behavior and predatory males.  I paid dearly for that.  I vowed that A) no child of mine would lack that safety mechanism and B) No son of mine would think that type of behaviour was okay to inflict on Anyone.

I started answering my boy’s questions as soon as they started asking them.  I gave them the appropriate names of their body parts, told them to go to their room when they were little and grabbing their penis as if “it” would fall off.  Somehow, they asked me about slang names for different body parts, and I told them.  If they asked me to stop, or acted like they heard enough, I stopped. 

I bought them books, like “What’s Happening to My Body? For Boys” and made sure the books were appropriate to their level of reading comprehension.  I left the books in the bathroom, casually, so they could pick them up when they were so inclined.

I talked with them about abstinence, I spoke with them about double birth control should they choose not to be abstinent.  we talked about diseases, we talked about why they should wait, we talked about rape……

Boy, did we talk.  These conversations, condensed into one bit of commentary would make it seem as if our home were the house of sex talk, sex talk, sex talk.  It was not- I don’t think it was, anyway.  It seemed natural to encourage them to ask questions and to answer them honestly with the amount of detail they were asking for. 

In addition to the talks, my sister’s fifteen year old daughter became pregnant after running wild on the streets for a while.  K is two years older than Beloved Firstborn, so the boys were very aware of what their cousin was going through as an unwed, teenage mother.    This made a big impression on them.  Maybe more of an impression than any of the talking I did.

I believe that knowledge is power.  I gave my sons the best knowledge I could.  Some of their friends asked me questions, too.  I encouraged them to speak with their parents.  They needed more than the mechanics and straight talk from me.  They needed to know their parent’s values around these issues.  My sons know my values.  They know that intercourse is not to be taken lightly.  They also are aware that sex can have very different meanings between the genders.  They aren’t the most sensitive guys in the world (they are 20 and 18) but I think they’re somewhat more respectful of the people with whom they interact than some of their peers I’ve known.

In summary , I think that sex education is an ongoing thing.  We start teaching our children about sex as soon as they see our attitudes about our bodies, the bodies of others.  It is up to the parent to give accurate information regarding anatomy, physiology, contraception and how to protect one’s self from predatory individuals. It is also imperative that each family impart their own values on their children.  That’s enough from me.

Blessings abound